Welcome to Canada!
by Silbern
Summary: Two Canadian soldiers and best friends survive the zombie apocalypse with their own way of staying alive. Strong use of Violence and Language. Please Read and Review!
1. Welcome to Canada!

The two men sat in their make shift chairs of tough sand bags and looked out into the empty street with little to no interest. The sun easily beat down on the two men wearing Canadian CADpat issued uniform with entire battle load attached to their tactical vests. Their ballistic sunglasses sat on the bridge of there nose while they had their rifles selector on safe. The Kevlar helmets sat at there feet so they could use them as a easy foot rest.

Yeah, today was as dull as it could ge…

"Phil! There's another!" The brown haired soldier noticed as a lone figure walked up the hill towards there position. Dragging its foot with each step it took was easy to see that it belonged to the devil and the disease. The man that was easily know as Phil rested his rifle on the sand bag and leaned over to peer into the mounted sight to get a clear shot at his target.

"I'd say about 300 meters bud" his spotter per-say called out as he also peered at the moaning and wounded figure through binoculars. The figure tripped on what seemed to be another corpse in the middle of the street and fell flat on its face without any attempt of trying to shield himself from the immediate impact of the cement.

"Five bucks say you miss him in first shot" Lucas, his trusty pal and spotter, said with his fist out to see if the rifleman would accept the bet. Their fist bumped and the bet was on to see if Phil could kill the bugger in one going. Phil kept his position with the butt of the C-7A2 assault rifle firmly planted in his shoulder as the target reticule slowly but accurately played along the moaning figure that was trying to crawl towards the pair. Phil let out his breath then held it half way as his finger gently pressed down on the trigger making sure not to jerk it.

Luke watched eagerly through the bino's making sure he wouldn't lose the five dollars that he had in his pocket.

The 5.56mm projectile gracefully flew towards the target at a speed that can not be seen by the naked eye. The round ricochets off the concrete ground and tore into the figures skull and left out the top making a beautiful pink mist. Luke groaned as Phil let out one of his "I'm victorious and you fucking suck" grin to pin the point that he won and won quite well. Luke had to hand it to him that that was a kick ass shot no matter whom you are. The two yet again reclined back in their makeshift lazy boys and relaxed as they scanned the horizon for more potential targets. Two cold Molson Canadian beer bottles opened and a clank sound resonated when the two cheers'd.

That's right people, its zombie night in Canada! Key the music!

The original infection was discovered in the state of Michigan when a poor sod decided it was a good idea to smoke whatever plant that looked liked ol' cannabis. Well, after that little trip to the hospital it was discovered that the man passed away on the ride there. He soon came back to life and decided that the paramedics would become some scrumptious human burgers and so when the ambulance crashed at an intersection it became a chaotic nom-nom factory. Get the picture? Goooood… Moving on!

The disease moved south faster as road blocks were hard when half of the law enforcement called in "sick". The next few days were going to be known as hell in America as the entire country got consumed in a chaotic zombie infestation. Canada watched helplessly on the other side with snipers and almost all of its forces that were still inland and not abound on the nation's mission in Afghanistan. The bridges were soon over ran with the army of undead as the peace loving people up north soon fell like their unfortunate southern neighbours. Basically a huge cluster fuck and other curse words. Don't worry Europe and Asia! You guys get a fun bunch on a cargo ship that will land on one of your more unguarded docks. Best of luck to ya's!

Now we share our attention to the harbour town of Owen Sound, Ontario in its glorious prime. Population: 2 Well at least 2 alive and kicking people. The small city was once a bristling middle class, college and hospital holding city that has its very own army reserves armoury that holds out two friends Luke and Phil. Well, they always did call the Army the home away from home. The two riflemen of the militia reserve unit were the best of buds since Phil moved in a few houses down from Luke. The two grew up always staying in contact and often went drinking together which often ended good one way or another. Well, when the infection hit the world, guess who was picked to do home town guard duty since the massive call to arms was issued to every unit in Canada?

So Lucas and Philip did their sworn duty as security detail to the Armouries. People begged to be let into the safety of the parade ground inside but not one were ever let in even when the undead were gnawing at the towns peoples legs. The nightmares usually fade after a couple of nights of sleeping on the roof of the building.

Day 15 of the outbreak has a sunny outlook on the city as Phil made his five dollar shot off the concrete. The two sat with two ice cold beers enjoying the sights of a blood stained and partially burnt city. It may be unsafe but it was home. Luke lightly tapped his bud and made a notice at the To Do: list that was hanging off part of their makeshift bunker.

To Do: (coffee stain)

Food (Doritos if at all possible ;) )

Beer

Fuel

Women :C

Why Phil liked making happy or sad faces beside some things was still a mystery to Luke but whatever floated his boat was cool with him. The brown haired and muscled Luke stood up and rotated his shoulder blades in a stretch as he tossed off his vest to remove his uniform tunic. A green T-shirt was then donned that said simply "I See Dead People…" It made Luke laugh every time he wore the shirt. Phil on the other side was wearing the black tank top to try and show off his muscles to all the pretty ladies around.

The two slung their rifles and walked towards the parking lot behind the building where they kept their prides and joys. When they finally walked around and the coast was clear they looked at each other and grinned. They both rose their fist and shook them up and down three times in unison until Phil fanned out his hand to symbolize "Paper". Luke stood there with a slouching figure and a frown as his fist was clenched to show a "Rock". The keys were giving over to Phil as they threw the rifles in the back seat of the Ford F-150 and pulled out of the parking lot.

The two made there way down the city road gaining speed and Luke spread a huge shit-eating grin when his hands pulled a baseball bat from his feet. His window rolled down as Phil rolled his eyes at the smallest thing that amused his fire team partner and best friend. A lone zombie walked about in the intersection as its head slowly turned to see the speeding pick up truck make its way directly to the moaning figure.

The titanium baseball bat swung against the skull of the soulless figure with enough force to break its jaw away and crush the brain matter inside. The blood splatter spread across the ground as far as 10 meters away. Luke didn't hold his excitement as he held a thumbs down and a tongue hanging out his mouth.

"Daumen drücken!" Luke cried out as the truck sped away from the blood bath as he held his crazy expression.

That's right ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Canada. Enjoy your stay!


	2. Grocery Store of Pain

The two stepped into the grocery store located far west of the town with their rifles resting on there shoulders. If the officers were still alive to see that the soldiers they trained looked this sloppy in uniform Luke and Phil might as well be hanged right there and then between the potatoes and bananas. What a way to go.

Luke made his way with his own grocery cart the multiple isles grabbing items that will last like canned items or other goodies that will go bad if not eaten quickly. The soldier chewed on an Oreo as he round the next corner to see a girl reaching for something in one of the top shelves. She stopped just as her fingers touched the can and her slim stomach showed from the bottom of her black t-shirt. The Oreo broke as it hit the ground with Luke's mouth still wide open. There in front of him stood a beautiful, long black hair, deep blue eyes, body that could make a man howl to the moon goddess. Hell, Luke had to close his mouth with his left hand as Phil walked up beside him with a couple of cans that seemed to be peaches.

"What do you think Brah? Peaches or Pineapples?" Phil asked as he still continued to wrestle with the idea of what to have for dinner. Sure pineapples were a treat but the peaches were so sweet and juicy. "I personally think we should go peac-" Phil suggested until Luke lightly smack his fire team partner in the stomach to get his attention. Phil at first wanted to smack him back for interrupting until he also turned and dropped both cans. Luke had to shut his mouth as well…

The girl on the other hand wanted nothing with either of them and resorted at throwing rather blunt objects at the two. Poor Phil took a can of beans to the face while Luke dove to the side.

"Hey!" Luke cried out to the attacking woman as he leaned out to get a peak. "Were on your side!" Luke leaned out again as he said it only to get a jar of hot peppers thrown at him. The jar smashed open on the metal rack near his face and the juice splashed all over his skin to creep into his nose, mouth and worse of all, his eyes. Luke dropped to the floor and squirm to what could only be described as the worm and a dying chicken morphed as one.

"OH MY GOD IT BURNS!" Luke cried out just as Phil managed to get back to his feet. The blonde young man wiped away the blood from his nose and took cover from the barrage of canned food as he looked over to check on Luke.

"WHY GOD, WHY?" Luke yet again screamed out at the top of his lungs as he did the funky chicken on the polished floor. Phil just smacked himself on the face where he didn't get hit only to see if it would save him some embarrassment. Another jar flew past the two and smashed harmlessly on the floor a few feet away.

"Hey! Common!" Phil asked with a more polite tone. It was quiet as Phil slowly peaked out to find the girl running away in her short skirt and tight black tee. Phil cursed out loud as he gathered himself to stand up and rush to Luke's aid. With his fire team partner in his grasp they did a slow jog but if they were not careful Luke would run into something due to bad vision. The two managed to get to the front of the store where the sun shone down on them to warm the skin nicely.

The girl jumped into a hum-vee as the tires squealed against the cement. The two could only watch as what looked like a U.S. Army issued Hume-vee just drove away with possibly the only female contact they would ever get since the zombie's gone and screwed everything up.

"Well, at least we still have our truck…" Phil pointed out to himself only to see the front two tires pop.

"OH COMON!"


End file.
